Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
