How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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