He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
