me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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