But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
