There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
