I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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