This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
