if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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