Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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