You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
