Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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