God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
