he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
