He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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