bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
