WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
