this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
