How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
