at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
