i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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