Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
