She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
