somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
