hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
