apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
