I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize