you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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