i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
