We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
