Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
