I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
