I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
