My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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