is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
