You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
