FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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