just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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