I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
