It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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