dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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