I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
