mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
