people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
