Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize