i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
