I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
