His pubic hair was longer than his dick
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
