Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
