I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
