Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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