carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
