Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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