There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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