I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
